Monday, December 22, 2014

Imagine

Thank goodness for best friends. The highlight of my week was getting to spend some much needed time with my best friend. It was a long time coming and exactly what I needed.

She's that one girl that I can just be me with. Done or undone. Happy or sad. We can talk. We can be silent.  We can drink. A lot :) We can laugh. We can cry. We can be totally pissed off. We can go months without seeing each other and pick up right where we left off. Moms can die. Dads can die. And you can find yourself standing at the podium in the church giving their eulogy & look up to see the only other person sobbing as hard as you.... is her.

There is nothing quite like a best friend.

1995.....




And 20 years later......




Today I was driving into work reflecting on the past few weeks. It's been quite a roller coaster ride. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate roller coasters?

It's been a very hard week adjusting to all the ups and downs of my personal life and my injury. I feel like I'm all strapped in and alone in my seat and that makes the ride seem ten times scarier. I'm not sure how I got here. But here I am. And there's no going back.

As I drove into work this morning, I started thinking, if I knew then what I know now, would I have done things differently?

In the case of the marathon, what if I had stopped running when my leg starting hurting? Was it worth it to cross the finish line of a marathon if I would be sidelined for 3 solid months after with zero improvement? 

If I knew the end, would I do it again?

I thought on this a good while as I sat in traffic.

And every single time I thought it through I knew in my heart that I would do it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.

Masochist?
Maybe.

The truth is, that's who I am. Whether I invest my time, emotion and heart in a dream or a person, I rarely give up. It's a blessing and a curse, known both fondly and not-so-fondly by my parents and my brothers and sisters throughout my life as the infamous, "Corkins Disposition" 

Sometimes this nets you great rewards. And sometimes it nets you a bruised femur and a bruised ego, a hurt hamstring and hurt feelings.

The part I always struggle with is trying to find the meaning in it all.

Why did it happen this way? Why did I come this far to have to start all over again in so many ways?

It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. It's meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife. And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, yea I really do think. It's like rain on your wedding day, it's a free ride, when you've already paid. It's the good advice that ya just didn't take. And who would of thought? It figures. Alanis Morissette

I guess sometimes you just have to wait until the end of the book. 

In the meantime I think I will learn to make some music while I wait.



Here is my video that I promised I would post. It's my progress in attempting to play my very first song on piano, Imagine by John Lennon. I have wanted to learn to play piano since I was a little girl. And now my little girls are teaching their mama :) 


Elizabeth Katherine 



Olivia Grace


Disclaimer: My playing is awful. Like no bueno. Mucho. But apparently after I posted it on G+ 1,390 people either thought otherwise or were super kind hearted and gave it a listen anyway. Maybe it wasn't about the playing at all. Maybe if you see someone trying to achieve their own dream, regardless of how bumpy it starts, it gives you the teenie tiny hope that one day yours could come true too. As for me, I'm really hoping this is a sneak peek into my next chapter. Imagine.

Click here to view my very first video blog!