Thursday, August 25, 2016

Speed bumps

I woke up feeling inspired to get my 3 mile run in this morning. I have my second running group meetup this weekend, a Brewery Festival 5K. I haven't run regularly the past couple weeks so I'm nervous about going through with it. The jury is still out but usually in the end, my #willrunforbeer philosophy wins out & I find myself at the start line, prepared or not ;)

Today's run kept me breathless with my heart pounding just trying to keep up with this little cutie. 

The run was tough after all the inconsistency the past couple weeks. As I ran behind her I was struck by how much she seemed to love every minute of the ride. I started thinking how I used to love riding too as a kid....the lazy days of summer. No school, just friends and sun and water. The wind in my face as I rode to my best friend's house totally carefree.

About a mile in Liv was riding on the sidewalk and I was in the road running when we came to a speed bump. With a huge smile plastered on her face she yelled back to me, "Hey mom! Can I? Pleeeease??"

I gave her the green light and she instantly whisked down the incline from the sidewalk straight for the speed bump, complete with the sound effects to accompany the little jump. 

Admittedly, my first thought was...

Oh my gosh, please be careful Olivia Grace.

She navigated the bump just fine and returned to the sidewalk as happy as could be.

I, on the other hand, spent the rest of my run thinking on that speed bump.

I wondered when I lost the excitement in taking on life's speed bumps. I mean, I'll speak for myself here, but I admit as a grown woman, I don't like them. In fact, when I see the figurative speed bump in the distance, dread usually takes over. 

How many times do I turn the other way? Change my route?
How many times do I face the bump with a smile and excitement and just keep going?

All this reminded me of a post last week.

I posted this before a trip to my hometown last weekend. 

Let's just say I may or may not have been on my way to a 90's concert with one of my childhood friends to see Vanilla Ice, Tone Loc, Coolio, & Salt N Pepa.

Why might I have found myself there, you ask?

Well to fully understand I have no choice but to take you back to 1991.....

Vanilla Ice and I 1991

PS Pay no mind to the girl with the perm...

Vanilla Ice 1991

Oh yes I did ;)

Back to topic....

Driving back to my hometown I couldn't help but think about my hundreds of commutes on that very road years before. 

I remembered how often I spent the drive hurrying. Worrying about this. Worrying about that. Ironically, most of which today, are inconsequential and meaningless to my life. 

Note to self. Must. Stop. Worrying.

I literally had to catch my breath when I passed one place in particular. It was in that exact spot I remembered hitting a very big speed bump in my life. Instead of trusting myself and taking on the bump, I gave up and stopped riding. I consciously made the decision that I wasn't strong enough just then, but someday I would be. Little did I know at the time, that someday wouldn't come for many years and that it would be in that decision and many more like it, that I would say goodbye piece by piece to what was left of the carefree, unafraid, speed-bump-loving-girl, for a very long time.

They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 

So today after my run, I hopped on my bike, wind in my face, carefree, and I went back to that speed bump and I rode over it as fast as I could. 

Dancing in the rain, 1976

"Remember her? She's still in there. Inside you. Let's go get her."

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